An emptiness scorches my soul.
I watched this movie on Sunday night, a Korean movie called "Good morning Mr. President." Although there were a lot of hard Korean words that I didn't quite understand-- it still kind of hit me.
Yes… I’ve been meditating on this movie for the past few days.. why? Good question.
The movie basically told the life story of three different presidents.
From country boys to movie stars, we all put presidents on a pedestal; as if they’re a superior race of people, meant to be bred specifically for leadership, political matters and all that grown-up stuff. Ha. Of course the movie exalted these distinguished individuals, but interestingly enough, they also shared another facet about the life of a president that we’re not naturally exposed to.
The notion that they are simply mere men and women. Like you and me.
Instead of the lofty platform we put them on; they are small individuals warily living, quite sacrificially, for the sake of their beloved citizens. In the movie, all three presidents after their term, talked about their selfish desires and wants that were stifled for the sake of the nation and the people. The sacrifices these presidents made were hidden, unannounced and concealed from the public- Buried beyond the political madness; veiled from even their loved ones. For the sake of a whole nation, a leader, set apart from the rest of the country lived an inimitable life focused on serving the people. A simple servant. Hardly a complaint, with joy, living with PURPOSE- and- oh snap
And there I was, sitting with maybe five other people in the enormous theatre… and all I could think about were the martyrs of the past, the apostles and the faithful disciples who followed Jesus until the glorious end. The persecution, the sacrifices, and their hardships unknown. Their suffering and affliction curbed, while simultaneously doused with the Word, running with the eternal perspective.
Sometimes out here, I feel like I’m fighting by myself. Like a small child just looking, looking to lay her head, looking for comfort.
And… I laugh, because sometimes, I feel like a broken child; who is trampled and walked over on. There are those vulnerable moments you didn’t know could exist. And then, I remember Paul and John, such faithful men of God. And then what about Peter, “the rock” so stubborn and adamant. But life catches you at your lowest moments. And the devil tries to snap you into a deceptive world, mocking truth, counterfeiting the bread of life with phony luxuries, temporary indulgences and forging the Savior’s perfect cross into a corrupt and fraudulent saving grace.
When I am reminded of these devoted and loyal servants, I am so rebuked because I know that I am so far from reaching that stamina, that devotion, that faithfulness. Must I recommit, knowing I will falter again into such faithlessness?
Maybe life is defying and submissing, fighting and surrendering, or perhaps winning and losing.
But.
Actually.
No.
The battle is already won. The cross has already won.
I just want to love you more than I did yesterday.
Defying Gravity.
